Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Foster Parents

My Wife and I enrolled as Foster Parents through our local Social Services Department. Our goal was long term placement with adoption. In order to become foster parents, we had to complete a PRIDE class, submit fingerprints, have a criminal background check, etc.

Shortly after graduation, we received a call about a placement. Her name was "B" and she was 5 months old. She was a beautiful little baby girl. Since we did not have anything for the child, we spent all sorts of money on a crib, stroller, dresser, clothes, toys, etc. Her goal was adoption and we were more than ready to take her in for keeps. We spoiled that little girl and treated her like a little princess.We were so in love with "B". After six months of care, her goal changed. A family member filed for custody and won.

I remember the call from Social Services. I met them at a neutral location to turn over "B". I gave her a kiss and handed her over to the social worker. She cried and yelled, "DADADADADADA". Turned my heart inside out.

After the "B" episode, we looked at alternatives. We attended meetings for domestic adoptions and international adoptions through local agencies. They are expensive! They are very expensive!

One day we received a call from our social worker about two little sisters in immediate need for adoption. Their mother had voluntarily terminated her parental rights. At the time they were 2 and 4 years old. We met the girls and immediately fell in love. They moved in shortly after the call and have never left. We filed for adoption. Three months later, we received their birth certificates in the mail with our last names.YAY!

It was a long road to becoming parents. Something we thought would be so easy ended up being a twisting and turning road. As a Husband, I know the pain of telling my Wife the stick did not turn blue. The heart breaking look on her face when her eyes swell up with tears. The feeling of total inadequacy. The trips to the fertility doctor, the eventual failure. Adoption is an option. To be honest, I was against it from the start. After time, it made sense. Looking back, I wish we had started the process a couple of years ago.

Their are beautiful children in your area that are in need of loving parents. Call your local social services department. Be honest with them. Tell them your goal is adoption. Their is no shame in that. For some people the road ends with pregnancy, for us...we took a detour but ended up smelling like roses.

We still wait for the phone to ring. We told Social Services we would take three more children. :)