Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The flight and my stay at UNC...(through the Husband's eyes)

My Wife and I can agree about one thing, the staff at UNC was wonderful. They went out of their way to make us comfortable. Well...I'm not sure if you ever spent time in a stroke unit before, I can tell you it is not fun. People screaming out in the middle of the night was a common occurance.

Anyway...when I arrived at UNC, my Wife was out for testing. The Nurse brought me something to drink and eat, introduced me to the staff, showed me around, and sat down to talk about my Wife's condition. They decided the best route was to continue with the heparin drip (blood thinner) and hope the clot dissolves on it's own. She brought me a bunch of stroke literature to read, different brochures, etc.

After a couple of hours, my Wife was brought back. Her smile lit up the room, I was soooo happy to see her. The nurse recommended I bring pictures and just talk to my wife. A little stimulation was a good thing. She was still talking garbled and complaining of a headache but she looked better.

She had NO idea she was in North Carolina. She had no idea why she was in the hospital. I showed her pictures of our dogs, she smiled. I asked her what their names were. She said three different words so I knew she realized we had 3 dogs. I handed her a brochure and asked her to write their names down. She completed the task with ease. We were just shooting the bull when she looked at the brochure. It had a picture of an old man on the cover and the title read, Understanding your Stroke. My wife started to cry. She pointed to the old man and said, Me? I did not respond. She wiped her tears away and asked, how? I told her it was the IVF meds. She then said, I want a baby. At this point the last thing on my mind is a baby. After all she has been through, she is upset that the procedure failed and we do not have a baby.

The days went by and her condition improved. Her speech started to get back to normal, her movements, her coordination, the little mannerisms I fell in love with...all coming back to normal. A few set backs here and there but for the most part, she was getting better. I slept by her side every night in a small recliner. We watched tv, talked, I read to her...she was getting better. When she slept, I stared out the window towards the walkway that led to the parking garage. I daydreamed about us walking that path together. I thought about us going home. I was not thinking about a baby. I just wanted my Wife back.

The doctors finally decided that the medication Lupron had caused my wifes stroke. They reported the adverse side effect to the FDA. It really pissed me off when I found out that Lupron was not approved by the FDA for fertility reasons. Its kind of strange, you cannot legally buy a baby but you can spends thousands on meds and thousands on adpotion fees.

None the less, my Wife was finally released from UNC. She had to see her family doctor for blood work twice a week and start speech therapy. To be honest, I was just happy to have her back. Everything else seemed so trivial.

Within a week of being home, we started talking about adoption.


brenda said...

You are an inspiration to me! And you have a beautiful family too.

Long story short- my husband and I have been on the infertility journey for nearly 5 years and after tons of meds and 5 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs my husband is really scared that the drugs may increase my risk of cancer. He's also not thrilled everytime I go under anesthesia. We were thinking of doing another IVF next Spring but after reading your story I may reconsider.

I know some people don't think adoption is the right route for them but lucky for us we both agree that it may be in the cards for us. Unfortunately, I agree with you that the cost is exorbatant so fostering-adoption will be the way to go.

I just want to thank you for putting your story out there to warn people about strokes and also tell them about the joy of finding parenthood on in alternate way.

Dream Pregnancy said...

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it. It was a very difficult journey, but I am thrilled that everything worked out for my family in the end.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do. I know that it is a difficult choice to make AND a lot of money, but I am sure you will decide to do whatever is best for you. Either way, I hope you and your husband are blessed with a family in the very near future. I am honored that I was able to inspire you! Thank you again!